Holy fucking shit. It’s July 24th already. The summer of 2013 is more than halfway gone.
I don’t even know what that means to me.
As we age, our perception of time changes, presumably because at least part of our mechanism of perception is based on relative percentage of time experienced. What does a minute mean? Well part of its meaning has to do with how many minutes we’ve experienced– that’s how we can know approximately what it is. We need that issue of “amount” to really have a sense of what “a” minute is. How about a month? If you’ve only had 36 months pass in your life, each would be a damn near eternity. When you’re at your 396th month (ahem) they begin to pass more like weeks used to. Weeks begin to pass like days, and days somehow end just as you thought they were starting.
It’s just how things are.
Training today in a about an hour. I got a good sleep last night, and I ate clean last night and this morning. Should be good. I feel pretty good. Need to read more, though.
It’s all shitty and humid and nasty outside. The fat illiterate women of my neighborhood, waddling along, gripping their spawn roughly by the little arm, yanking them along, barely able to think, barely able to speak, barely able to write, barely able to consider themselves in the world, operating in survival mode, where life consists of feeding and fucking. They get huge, their children multiply, and they wheeze. That’s the meaning of life… the BBQ party, the TV show, the kids who, when doing well are there for the bragging, and when they fuck up, because they are fucked up, it’s poor mom.
But my issue isn’t with them. It’s with the system that created them. It’s a form of violence committed against them that they should be born into such a hopeless space of survival-mode living. What made that the case? What makes people fall into survival mode– the mode of life and death falling into relativity with each other, where people matter less. What creates that?
What prevents that?
Could it be a necessary consequence of our system? Could it be the case that we wouldn’t be able to have the system we have if we didn’t have a huge impoverished class of illiterate, obese fuckheads? Could it be that our system makes them, because that’s what it takes for the rest of it to work out for everyone else?
Fuckers.
