I told G1 that I couldn’t be physical any more and she was a little upset but understood. We’ll still be friends because we were never actually in a relationship. Like, we never had that talk, about seeing anyone else or exclusivity or any of that stuff. We just liked each other and every couple of weeks would try to meet up.

But when G2 started about a month ago, I knew it would be trouble. G1 and G2 work together, in the same department as me. After I got physical with G2 (which was fairly amazing and highly unexpected) I knew I’d have to make some kind of decision. The smart thing would be to stop seeing either of them romantically.

But I’m not that smart.

Last night was peculiar and a first. In hindsite, it’s quite unbelievable. G1 and G2 knew each other but were not really friends. They’re very different– one’s an introverted designer, one’s an all-american lawyer/MBA, party-type person. A couple weeks ago they were both out in the same group, an afterwork thing, getting drinks. That made me a little nervous, but it was OK. I hooked up with both of them later that same week and everything was fine.  Last night, however, oddly and improbably, it was just the three of us left at work. We left the building together, which was already awkward, but then I learned the two of them, and just the two of them, were going out for drinks. Not only that, but they were going to one of my favorite places not far from where I live.

I started to think that they were maybe playing with me– that maybe they’d already discovered I was physical with both of them, and now they were scheming to make me as uncomfortable as possible. I decided to play dumb and went along, the three of us, walking down Broadway.

When they got to the turnoff for the bar, G1 said, “Good, now you can leave and we can talk about you.”

What do you do with that? So I said, “I see what’s going on here, schemers. Enjoy yourselves, don’t get too wasted.” And we just said bye and I walked home and they walked to the bar.

At home, I had Tycoon Death Plunge jam, and the whole time I was waiting for a text, or possibly a text from both of them, or a call, or tears, or yelling, or a knock on the door, or something.

But nope.

G2 wrote a couple hours after I left them: “Heading home. By the way you looked extra edible today.”

That didn’t sound angry at all.

So miraculously, things turned out OK. They didn’t divulge to each other they were both seeing me. Perhaps the “seeing” part of that description is what made it able to remain hidden. We meet sometimes for dinner or lunches. Sometimes we get naked. Is that “seeing”?

Later in the night, closer to my bedtime, I called G1 who’d I’d been seeing for a few months, and suggested we stop the physical stuff because it’s clear we can’t move forward while both working together and it was getting too tough and I didn’t want to risk hurting the friendship. Surprisingly, the conversation went well. We’ll still meet up and have lunch sometimes. She’s really sweet and nice and interesting and I really do like her as a person. I can just tell that unless we’re in a relationship, it’s not good for us to keep doing more than dinner.

G2 I flirted with on text until we fell asleep. G2 is dangerous. G2 has a “bench” of guys and has been proposed to 3 times. G2 has sketchy guy friends. This weekend she’s going to the Maxim Magazine Superbowl party. Here’s a paste from her the mail she sent me:

Congratulations, you have been added to the exclusive guest list for… “THE MAXIM PARTY” 

Hey, it’s Noah & Breakfast, you have been placed on our special guest list for our Maxim pre-Game celebrity party Friday, January 31, 2014 at 10pm and Saturday, February 1, 2014 at 10pm

WE RECOMMEND ARRIVING EARLY – Look for the specially marked “IGetIn Check-In” Signs to expedite entry!

ESPACE
635 W 42nd St
New York, NY 10036

Of course, as with all Maxim events everything is complimentary for guests: Music, Food, Games, Music, and a very special live performances from Swedish House Mafia’s Sebastian Ingrosso and Grammy Awarded rapper Kendrick Lamar  that you won’t want to miss.
No cameras please and you must have 21+ ID.

So at least there’s music. But how exactly do you get in? Well, if you are male and have connections, it’s $1500. Otherwise, check the fine print:

This is a PRIVATE event and Maxim reserves the right to choose who is admitted and who isn’t.  Please arrive on time, dressed appropriately.

*If you have a really hot girlfriend (sorry, no guys for this special invite) that you want us to consider for the guest list please have them submit their information at our web form at www.igetin.com or have them email us photos at nyc@igetin.com or facebook request us atwww.facebook.com/maxim.superbowl

So if you’re a chick, you send them photos of yourself and if you’re hot enough, you get in. So, she did that, and she got in, with her hot-ish asian friend who’s name is Yum-yum. So they’ll be at this thing, probably mostly filled with douchey fuckfaces who’ll pay $1500 for a couple hours of “party” because it’ll be filled with hand-picked hot women.

Barf.

Incidentally, G2 is who I described as the Doctors Wife previously. That was wrong. She looks like the Doctor’s Wife, and at work acts like the doctor’s wife, but is in fact sort of a party girl. Why she’s addicted to me right now I have no idea, I obviously HATE all of that stuff. But, here we are. She sends me hot texts during the day about meeting up in empty rooms and how she needs me so bad right now.

So we’ve met up in small dark rooms twice over the last couple of weeks. She’s pretty outrageous and seemingly as lust hungry as I am.

I wonder if the decision to have a fling with her is my subconscious trying to sabotage my situation so I will have to move on, because maybe secretly I know I need to build my cabin in the woods with skylights and window-walls and a central fire place and hard wood everything and where I can sit and watch the deer come through the snow during a pleasant winter storm.

Maybe NYC is wrapping tentacles, now, in the form of tits and ass, and that’s how it pulls you in. I’m in my mid-30s now and it seems like girls are everywhere and they like me. The super hot types I never would have had a chance with 10 years ago are now into me. They’re in my bed saying I’m the best. It’s a NYC trap. I wonder if I can escape peacefully. The way things are going right now, it seems unlikely.

G3.

G3 is really tall and slim and pretty. She’s the first Chinese girl I’ve had over in a about a year, since I broke it off with the Lion Dancer. She’s coming on Friday to make Jiaozi for Chinese New Year. It’ll be her forth time coming over and I haven’t kissed her yet. Last time we talked alot and sipped tea (she doesn’t drink) and it was nice.

I feel detached from nearly all things and people. I feel closed off but able to enjoy my days, still. She’s coming on Friday and half of me is glad and the other half is ambivalent.

I got up at 6 because I need to lose 8 lbs for a muay thai fight in a couple weeks. I came back inside at 7a, all frozen and exhausted, and I stood in the hot shower until almost 8, not quite ready to start the day, but not ready for anything else either.