I have no idea what that means.

Jam last night was excellent. We had a very full house with a new drummer and the usual suspects. The last of the Jonny Walker Black was killed along with pretention and ego.

There are times when the groove has so much gravity you are nearly crushed by it. We hit such huge riffs last night it’s a wonder the building isn’t cracked.

My jam club is finally going the way it’s supposed to. People arrive happy, not stressed. We all know each others strengths and weaknesses and don’t care to have any sort of agenda. We head in with pure spirits and within five minutes of tuning up we’re usually onto something worth exploring. They last three hours and by the time we’re done, our fingers are raw.

I woke up slightly hung over and late. I practically ran to the staff meeting and arrived fairly sweaty. Goddamn this foggy jungle weather in October. Things were going so well.

Today I’m battling the nagging feeling that I’m not reaching my potential in anything I do. I’m above my work place. I’m above my living space. I’m above myself. Looking down. Seeing “just that” instead of everything that was supposed to be.

I keep saying: “I need a change” and “the big change is coming”, etc. And none of it is big. A few side jobs, some personal projects. But none of it is the big thing. The big thing. The big thing.