One tricky thing is when you’re given a project to manage that you don’t particularly believe in. All of the minutia of project management– the record keeping, the ticket items, the milestones and assignments, the check-ins and the monitoring– it all becomes agonizing because ultimately you don’t agree with what it’s all for. When that’s the case, it’s difficult to do a good job. When you’re not behind the goal, all of the little tasks become absofreakinglutely annoying, disproportionately so. Writing a work ticket on this project cascades into hatred for innocent things. This morning, for instance, it took me ten minutes to write a work ticket because of how much hatred I felt for my keyboard. Then it was the act of typing itself. What a dainty little fucking activity, clickity clack, tap, clickity-clickity clack, tap tap. At what point in my life did I decide it was OK for me to use my fingers for touching little buttons instead of smashing stuff, or gripping stuff, or digging stuff, or lifting stuff, or punching stuff, or holding stuff up, or lugging stuff around.

Clickity clack, tap, clickity-clickity clack, tap, clickity-clack, tap tap.

That’s probably the hardest thing about my circumstance right now, that one project that I wish would go and die before it strangles my already blue testicles.