Sorry for the missing days, time was very short. <\/p>\n
Because of the power outages around town last week I invited some coworkers to crash at my place so the apartment was very full. Two in Hollow Way Studio, one in the semi-spare bedroom, one in the living room on the couch. We had a couple big dinners, including hot pot, and my living room has the lingering spicy scent to remind me. It was a nice way to pass the hurricane days, though with each day my desire to get some alone time grew tremendously. As power flickered back to life, people returned to their apartments, and I found myself again in a quiet home with much to think about.<\/p>\n
I have a gargantuan task ahead of me as I work through this dissertation. That my organization might be in peril is making things somewhat stressful just about all the time. There’s been some major leadership changes way up in my department and I think they might try some radical things with my group– possibly combining it with other groups, possibly dismantling it. For my organization, it’s been about 14 years of autonomy during one of the greatest transformations in human communication. Over that time, we went through two significant leadership changes within the larger organization that houses ours, and due to the vision and leadership of one man, we had strong advocates everywhere, all up and down the chain. But that might have changed now, and because that guy is absent most of the time as he tries to hang on over brutal cancer, we don’t have his clout nor his influence over the larger machine we live and work within. We are less able to continually present the reasons for our funding, our mission, and our existence as an organization.<\/p>\n
How lucky we have been to have been working at the time were, when one of the greatest transformations in human history was taking place– when information was instantly accessibly and the question became what to do with it, and how to use it, rather than how to get it.<\/p>\n
The uncertainty here has created a tricky situation for me. I have had other opportunities come up as I’ve been working and living here, and I took on a few different external projects that I’m very proud of. But I always kept attached to this place because of the organization itself, and what we have been trying to do. Now that the major change might be on the way, I need to protect myself a bit and make sure I have the next thing lined up. I’m not certain what it will be.<\/p>\n
In the short duration of one’s “prime years”, one can choose to either make a career out of a trade or skill or occupation, or to keep taking risks and entering other spaces surrounded by the experts there. These days I feel more excited about doing something completely new than trying to recreate what I had here. I’m not sure what kind of resume I’ll be able to throw together for the different opportunities I’ll be looking for. <\/p>\n
The mild anxiety around this upcoming change comes in waves. Sometimes when I lay in bed it washes through me and is difficult to shake off. The uncertainty makes concentrating on other things difficult. Other times I’m able to snap to a perspective that seems healthier– the perspective of tiny life in a giant universe, where, in the scheme of things, nothing matters as much as it feels it does. In that perspective, the only things that matter is outside of you– perhaps the people you affected in some way. <\/p>\n
I’d become a monk if I wasn’t so much of a caveman. But I am. <\/p>\n
Happy Monday.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Sorry for the missing days, time was very short. Because of the power outages around town last week I invited some coworkers to crash at my place so the apartment was very full. Two in Hollow Way Studio, one in … Continue reading