{"id":467,"date":"2011-12-21T06:17:07","date_gmt":"2011-12-21T06:17:07","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.obsidiannoise.com\/blog\/?p=467"},"modified":"2011-12-21T20:06:11","modified_gmt":"2011-12-21T20:06:11","slug":"467","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.obsidiannoise.com\/blog\/2011\/12\/21\/467\/","title":{"rendered":""},"content":{"rendered":"

Every god is manmade and the one that died yesterday came from a vagina. How unimpressive, Mr. Kim. Of all the ways to mystically and mythically enter the world…<\/p>\n

The virgin birth miracle is weak. Any means of creation that doesn’t involve being pressed out of a vagina would beat it. My creation myth would be that I popped out from behind a couch. The rituals that would be used to worship my miraculous couch popping would be so comfortable. People would take to it I’m sure, couches are a big part of America’s Sunday rituals already.<\/p>\n

Maybe the virgin birth that the country is about to celebrate should be rewritten to include sacred La-Z-Boys. \u00a0It’d be another institutional ritual I could make fun of and channel hatred at.<\/p>\n

Hey, it has to go somewhere. People like me evolved this way. It’s in our genes. You know we’re valuable. We hate so you don’t have to. Be thankful. Now, how do you explain yourself?<\/p>\n

That’s right, you’re our food. Now, stop squirming.<\/p>\n

I had the extremely unpleasant experience of going through the new (2011) Morbid Angel record Tuesday afternoon. \"\"<\/a>My good god damn is it bad. WHAT HAPPENED TO THOSE GUYS? That kind of de-evolution is as depressing as it gets. Don’t even bother checking it out to see what’s so wrong about it, it’ll wreck you for weeks. I’m protecting you by telling you about it, and by telling you not to verify it. Because I care.<\/p>\n

Morbid Angel has always had a rabid following and deservedly so. They are the fathers of Death Metal. Their “Alters of Madness”(1989) release was one of the first records in that genre I ever heard and it was completely transfixing. I first heard it a few years after its release when I was in junior high. It was pounded into my brain through a college radio station I barely picked up from rural New Hampshire. There was an extreme metal show that came on some nights after 1-2am, often through static so severe I could barely hear anything. But the interference added to the mystique, especially out in the woods.<\/p>\n

I will always revere Morbid Angel, they were a mystical presence in All Night New Hampshire Adolescent Bedroom (ANNHAB). But this last release, Illud Divinum Insanus<\/a>, is total garbage.<\/p>\n

There are some bands who never lose it and I stick with them, for the most part. One of the best of the best shows I’ve ever been to was a band that formed in 1990, broke up in 1995 as soon as they became renown, did a US tour in 2008 somewhat out of the blue which I was able to see. They’re called\u00a0At The Gates.<\/a> The tour wasn’t to promote anything. No new record, no band reunion, nothing. It was just to play again. Being in that crowd was a highlight of my NYC years. The crowd, small put packed for the venue, knew every word to every song and it was the first time at a death metal show that I couldn’t hear the vocalist because of how loud and accurate the crowd was. Here, this is the show I was at, you can probably see me in there somewhere on the right side.<\/p>\n