Obsidian Noise

gorgeous day here. Sorry for the nearly no post, but tomorrow’s will be a big one. Special thing tonight to tell you all about. Very excited about it, but also wondering if I can really survive it. Pretty sleep deprived right now.

But that’s OK. It makes everything really neat.

Check in tomorrow, you won’t regret it, I bet.

Or even if you do, check in anyway. I need your unconditional love and approval, if you didn’t realize that by now.

Have to run.

Heres I go.

Love this place for short bursts.

Day of Frig.

The trees here are all blooming, which looks and smells nice, though everyone is all drippy and doped up because plant cum.

What a weird relationship we have with plants.

The conference yesterday was great. I’ve already received some mails today asking for meetings. I like that sort of thing. I like meeting people to talk about something, especially one-on-one. For me, that is my socializing. It could be work-related, but it’s still my social time. I have good relationships with the people I work with, and clients who I work for. I get my social energy that way. Going out in a big group, I hate that shit. For me, that’s not socializing at all. That’s a miserable waste of energy. But I know for others it’s the opposite. I’m glad both kinds of people exist. I’m glad for the diversity we have. I’m also used to being in the minority in many ways.

Two days no training because no time and I can feel the energy overload creeping up. It makes me feel antsy and hard. A few days without training and I walk around dick-first like an asshole. A quick temper. Dangerous capabilities. I will get in there and get it done tonight, for my sake, and the sake of the whole city, is what if feels like. I need to fight things, or I fight everything.

Here’s the daily. Not another new blazer, but not that old. Maybe 2-3 years old. It’s nicely broken in now. For the longest time I thought it was so lame because it had this fake pocket on the inside. It looked like a pocket, but it was sewn shut.

Turns out you have to cut those thread to get it open. I felt like such an idiot when I learned that. But then the jacket became a favorite.

A) I’m clean and B) I’m going straight from a gallery opening to pound some leather at the MMA club for a couple hours. Then it’ll be home to restart work. I leave for Coronado tomorrow morning for a few days, and I’ll keep the updates going.

I want a woman who will
pull me from my own annihilation.
A fire hearted temptation from
the world who needs every drop of me,
touches every wound,
and dares me to be free.
She refuses to let me get too far away
Even when I disappear,
because she knows how
I starve for her.

Hi Monkeys,

Long day yesterday and today. I had a project review at 10a, and then I have a big update meeting with my boss at 2. Afterwards I need to head to a museum in town for a reception and introduction to fellow panelists, and tomorrow I speak there in the afternoon. Then I can get back to work.

Another blazer today. Blue on gray pants this time.

Crummy picture, but it’s the best a laptop can do.

You know, having tailored jackets makes all the difference, and actually brings blazer-wearing into the realm of bearability for me. Gray pants and Limmers are still my standard, but having a few jackets that actually fit properly for the first time in my life has been nice. It also simplifies dressing. All you need are about three nice jackets, 4 white collar shirts, 5 tight white t-shirts for underneath, a couple jeans and a couple dockers. Limmers. Good-to-go.

The jeans I wore yesterday are tight in the crotch. It took me a day to learn that. They’re from Lucky Jeans, probably a mistake. I sent a picture to a friend for review and she was like: “are you trying to bring attention to your dick?” I guess it was visibly tight, too. Probably supposed to be that way.

Death plays tonight at Irving, should be awesome. But I’m mostly geared up for the melodic death metal band Hypocrisy playing on May 1. The last time I watched them was at BB Kings on 42nd street about 4 years ago. They destroyed the place.

“The new world is here to wipe out our live,s
The new world we can’t survive.
The new world left gods in everything and everyone,
The new world does not include us.”

I can’t wait for their show next Wednesday, I’ll be thinking about daily between now and then. No one can go with me, but Hypocrisy is one of those bands you might be better off seeing alone anyway. Their songs are all about aliens and paranormal terrors and conspiracy and secret societies and stuff like that. They had one album called Virus… it was so awesome, man.

Anyway, better run for now, 30 minutes till I pitch my big idea of the year. It’ll be fine. Update you tomorrow on how that all goes.

Have a great hump.

Just in case this wasn’t working for you earlier today, yesterday’s jam snippet:

All instruments are live– drums, bass, 8-string guitar and a baritone guitar.

Don’t give up on it, I just went through the snippet– it gets pretty good. I need to get a mic that picks up the bass and drums much better– there’s basically no low frequency stuff picked up at all.

Hi Monkeys,

As promised, here I am. It’s been a rough couple of days with hardly any time to myself, lots of things happening at once. I suppose you’ve heard that before. Probably many, many times before. From me, I mean.

Despite the overloaded state, one does maintain their priorities, of course. At least they should. And mine is obvious, though there are two, and you could guess what they would be. I took the day off from training yesterday so that leaves one: epic jam in Hollow Way Studios.

I captured it on my phone, so the quality is shitty. There is no bass pickup and hardly any drums to be heard. You need a mic that can handle those frequencies and the iPhone mic is basically the opposite of that. And my phone only lets me send about 7 minutes at a time, so here’s a random piece from the middle:

Jam was peaceful and pure for about 2 hours, and after everyone had left I was ready to dive back into work. Which I did. For about 20 minutes.

And then I woke upon the couch and it was 4a. I moved to the regular bed and woke up with the alarm at 8. Another evening gone, another day begun.

But I feel good today. The jams in Hollow Way affect me like this. Tuesdays are usually pretty good for this reason. The residues of playing are still there, and the feeling of staying creative and productive stays with me.

Because of some new responsibilities, I have to wear blazers now. Here, I’ll snap a pic from my laptop camera right now.

Oh, but check out my jeans.

DON’T WORRY MONKEYS!!

Still wearing Limmers.

Close ups. This is what new Limmer Standards look like:

I grabbed a new pair because, after getting the Lightweights in half-a-size larger than my old Standards, I found the fit to be superior. When I would wear super heavyweight socks for hiking, it could be a little tight, especially after 5-6 hours and your feet swell a little. So I called Ken up at the Limmer Boot Company and he had a new pair, Wide, coming my way soon. They arrived last night and I’m thrilled with them. All clean like this, they’re definitely work appropriate, no? And at the same time I know that when the zombie apocalypse comes, my feet will be the last thing to worry about as I trallomp through the woods with my samurai sword and backpack to New Eden, where the sun shines, the dogs are loyal, and the girls don’t kill you. You know, the opposite of here.

Have a great Tuesday.

Sorry monkey heads, today is negative time. Moving backwards as much as any other direction and not having a ball with it. But it’s fine. I will get you on the flip-flop I promise.

Later.

I found a picture of that gate I mentioned in yesterday’s post– the one that the family used to live at. This was taken in the first few months I was there. It’s hard to tell that these are world-class level competitive martial artists.

Interestingly, one became an elite professor (no, not me you little monkeys), one became an action movie actor and stuntman, and one went back into the military for a while and, after that, started reading shit. That’d be me.

I miss those days, most days. It was a very singular purpose: prepare, compete, prepare, compete. When that’s your routine, it’s amazing the things you end up thinking, and realizing and how satisfying your life can be. At least for me. I guess I still try to recreate that for myself wherever I go. That’s weird.

THOUGH, I’m the type that fantasizes about living in a gorgeous log cabin in pristine wilderness and on a crystal clear lake with a couple giant dogs. For some, that’d be a nightmare life. New Yorkers tend to be that way because of how they’ve been trained by each other.

I’m off work today. I do have a call at 3, and at 4 I have a meeting about a conference at a museum I’m speaking at next Friday. Dang, that event really creeped up on me. I have a lot of preparation to do– it’s about innovative partnerships between museums and higher ed. Anyway, that meeting is on campus, so I’ll train afterwards and eat there.  Then I’ll head to the secret office and listen to a ball game on the radio while working on some other things. I can’t wait for that.

See? I’m the type. For some that’d be a nightmare of a Friday night. For me, it’s sort of what I want to do, though having a woman around would be better. Ah well. BBQ girl wants to come over tomorrow. We’ll see. Trying not to be weak about it.

Have a great Frigg, maybe we can all be working on things that are important to us later tonight, under the glows of our lamps, in the steam clouds of our coffees and teas, and under the duress of our hand and neck aches which mean we’re doing our projects correctly.

Indeed, if thou hurteth in thy efforts, and thou suffer painful dings, then thou art Doing it Right.

…and get it over with. Everyone else will be stuck choking on their own fear.

Is it just me or are the clock hands moving faster these days? Did you hear me? Huh, future body bag occupier? Fuckin’ hell.

Instant coffee this morning. Reminds me of two things: camping, and China.

My first year in China, I was living at the Sports University, training full-time, and completely alone until I met someone who is still one of my best friends. Ignorant of most things “China”, my timing that first year was pretty bad. After the first semester ended, I figured it would be cool to stick around and get extra training done. My teammates were all going home or traveling and I was actually happy to stay. But what happened was that everyone left and everything closed. And I mean everyone and everything. You see, over there around the time of Chinese New Year, which is between semesters, everyone goes home to their villages and there’s a mass exodus from all the cities. So, when the term ended, people packed up and left. Every guard, every shop owner, every taxi driver, everyone. The whole complex of the Sports University was empty, and it was just me, and one small, incredibly poor family who lived at the entrance gate in little metal and plastic structure. At that time of year, the father was put in charge of watching the gate, which was pretty easy for him since he lived underneath it.

The foreign students dorm was incredible. A big cement box, with maybe 8-10 perfectly square cement boxes on each floor, 4 floors. The electricity ran from room to room via branching cord that hung precariously from the ceiling. The power would go out regularly. My room always smelled a little like coal smoke because my window never closed properly and the whole campus, like most of Beijing overall, was run on coal power. The semester break and Chinese New Year takes place during the coldest time of year, usually in early to mid-February. It’s as cold or colder in Beijing than New Hampshire, minus the snow, and the coal powered heating systems kept the sky gray, and fine layer of soot covered everything always.

So there I was, completely alone in that place, accidentally. I had a few books, a few blankets, a little water heater, stacks of instant noodles, a metal bowl and cup, and a container of Folgers instant coffee, which by comparison to just about everything else was really freakin’ expensive– you know, a real luxury. I used to drink that coffee every day, and throughout the day. I’d look forward to it when I was walking around the abandoned campus (which was all locked down). When in my room, I’d stay warm under layers of blankets, wearing most of the clothes I had (which were mostly training clothes), and sip Folgers while reading martial arts books or doing my own, very shitty writing. I have a journal from that whole period which is hilarious and depressing, though probably the rawest observations of my life.

Anyway, three straight weeks of that, 22 days to be exact. By the time it was over, I had memorized even the tiniest details of the Folgers can. The logo was a couple of mountains with a rising sun coming up from behind and between them, and if you notice that, you’ll begin to notice that there’s a whole mountain range that sort of wraps around the whole can. Little monkeys, with enough staring at your Folgers can, you can get pretty deep. It used to make me think about my months in the Himalayas, sleeping cold up high and loving it. It made me think about my time in various places around the world– Japan, South Korea, up in Maine and how beautiful that whole state is, that whole landscape– the coast with all the pine trees and mountains. New Hampshire is there, too. Most of my stories from that period involved wilderness adventures and survival tales. So, I’ve always felt thankful to Folgers for that.

That’s all.

G’day.