Sometimes the city is like a giant suffocation chamber. Sometimes it’s like an infinity balloon. I’m happy with both, though both could be better.

The stoics say the key to happiness in life is to want what you have, and don’t want what you don’t have. It’s either the most brilliant perspective on tranquil living there is, or a total copout for the weak. “I know I can’t get it, so I don’t want it.”

Fuck that. Fuck this. Fuck you.

Yesterday I did something ridiculous. I put on my 5/4/3 wetsuit and jumped in the Hudson, around 4:45pm, at 126th, and swam out and down with what turned out to be a wicked current to the low 70s. I had strapped a drybag around my waist with some shoes, pants and the perfect hoody. It actually stayed ahead of me, floating on the surface, for the whole swim. I struggled to get out in the low 70s, hands and feet blue, shivering like a motherfucker. I threw my clothes on and jogged back home feeling like a dumb motherfucker.

I should get a hood and booties when I do that again.

Have a great Wednesday. And remember to feel good about yourselves because you’ll always know that, compared to me, you’re friggin’ geniousness and will have an easy, happy life. No matter how bad you might feel sometimes, you’ll never, ever come close to being as idiotic and moronic as me, or fuck up as badly as I do on a near daily basis.

So enjoy that, you lucky assholes.